Tips on Wasting Time when you're supposed to be Writing

1. Take a selfie. Nothing like some good, old narcissism to get the creative juices going.

2. Take your puppy for her third walk of the day and then wonder why she keeps lying in the grass, refusing to budge.

3. Spread the pages of your first draft around because sorting through it all should take up at least a good ten, fifteen minutes.

4. Finally, begin writing, only to have the phone ring so that you can the curse the world for not respecting your solitude.
 

5. Write.